It was a frantic day in our office yesterday as we were working on hashtagging measurement for a marketing campaign we put together using Twitter. We were excited to see the results, the impressions numbers generated as a result of Tweetreach. Then it happened: no Twitter for a full day. No fail whale disclaimer or a screen full of robots announcing technical difficulties. Twitter just wasn’t working.
Yes, we all know why. It was the attack on Twitter that left it dormant for 2 hours at most, for some. But for us here at Axiom, we didn’t have tweeting power all day, and it caused some concern as to whether or not our key influencers for the promotion could tweet. It turns out they could.
The non-existence of Twitter for a day led us to revisit a question that has been subconsciously in the back of our minds and our social media “what ifs?” What if Twitter just died? Well, we thought about it as a team and came up with 50 things that would happen if Twitter went kaput. (Update: List has been added to from comments) Let’s keep the list going with your comments and maybe we can reach 100, if not more.
So here it is without further adieu…
1. Facebook would become popular again
2. What’s Twitterberry, Tweetie, and Tweetdeck?
3. Maybe some would use the actual telephone
4. Blogs would have a voice again
5. People would actually read blogs as opposed to skim them
6. Journalists would have their jobs back
7. Journalists would take ownership of newspaper sections they actually cared about
8. No more Twitter lingo; it only would remain when someone would recall Tweetie bird from Looney Tunes
9. People wouldn’t lose their jobs
10. People’s opinions would not be heard
11. People would know how to talk in complete sentences
12. There wouldn’t be popularity contests
13. HR departments would have one less place to monitor job candidates
14. Employers would have one less place to monitor employees
15. PR and creative agencies would have one less thing to confuse their clients about.
16. No one would know and have to know about certain things
17. Dogs would have owners
18. Monetization would be less of a topic of conversation
19. Biz and Ev would have to think of something else
20. FriendFeed might see some more ink time
21. People wouldn’t have the need for URL shorteners
22. The phrase “140 characters or less” would become obsolete
23. Followers would be considered stalkers
24. Brands would have to pay more for Facebook advertisement
25. 6-7 hours of work would be achieved during the day as opposed to 3-4
26. Ashton Kutcher would be bored unless shooting a movie
27. “#” would be that button underneath the 9 on your phone’s keypad
28. ‘Tweeted’ would sound like another term for ‘goosed’
29. Birds wouldn’t feel like the third wheel
30. Social media enthusiast, gurus, ‘experts’ would have actual work to do
31. People wouldn’t be so chatty
32. Microblogging would be an event for midgets or dwarves who aspire to be Web writers
33. Media outlets wouldn’t be thinking so hard about mergers & acquisitions
34. The Twitter wiki would be silenced
35. Chuck Norris would cease to exist or he would bring twitter back to life.
36. Online dating would become relevant again.
37. Customer service would remain the same.
38. Smartphone sales would plummet.
39. Apple and PC's would still try their best to differentiate themselves.
40. Anderson Cooper 360 would be 27 seconds short because he wouldn't have to repeat "And find me on Twitter" 14 times throughout the show.
41. Parents wouldn't feel uncool because they still don't know anything about tweeting.
42. Traditional spam e-mails would make a resurgence, yet still get deleted.
43. The "fail whale" would become the term used to talk about dumb jocks, instead of crashed websites.
44. THE_REAL_SHAQ could resume his work on his free throw shooting.
45. 14 fewer car accidents would happen because of people not tweeting.
46. Social media "experts" would go back to being good ol' fashioned computer nerds.
47. The Cars for Clunkers program would still run out of money.
48. Foreign affairs would still remain foreign to the majority of society.
49. Political candidates could focus their attentions on improving their communities, instead of trying to "out-tweet" their competition.
50. 140 characters would be a hip, crowded bar.
51. Verizon Fios would have to remove their Twitter monitoring system and so would mlb.com (Major League baseball.)
52. Jack Dorsey (Twitter founder) would come up with a new business idea, because that's what he does.
53. My spouse would stop making fun of me for being on Twitter.
54. RT would have no special meaning anymore
55. Comcast would continue to send unqualified people on unnecessary calls.
56. Conversations would involve people you knew and concern topics other than social media
57. Some possibilities for connection and learning would be closed off.
58. Don't worry, if Twitter really died, there would be an app for that.
59. The world would keep spinning.